STARTING A BUSINESS HEALED ME FROM THE TRAUMA OF MOVING TO CANADA

By Pamela Ossongo

"But here is the truth no one tells you: Sometimes you cannot build a new life because you are still emotionally living in your old one."

It is 11 a.m. on a hot July morning in Gatineau, and the sun is spilling through the thin white curtains like a spotlight I never asked for. The air in the room feels thick—like someone has hung disappointment from the ceiling, letting it settle on my chest. I hear the hum of traffic outside, the distant laughter of kids enjoying the Canadian summer, but inside my apartment, everything is silent. Heavy. Still.

I am lying on my back, staring at nothing.

My body is in Canada, but my spirit is somewhere between Yaoundé and the memories I’ve spent years trying to bury.

I don’t want to get up.

Not today. Not again.

For weeks, my life has been a loop: wake up, walk, eat, apply for jobs, rewrite my CV, wait, hope, and then be disappointed. Sometimes I’d get an interview and allow myself a small breath of belief, then—seconds later—a rejection email would suffocate it.

Every day, the same words echoed through my mind: What’s the point?

"My body is in Canada, but my spirit is somewhere between Yaoundé and the memories I’ve spent years trying to bury."

I’d call my aunt back home and pour out my bitterness—“I hate it here.”

“This country is rejecting me.”

“Maybe I should go back.”

She listened the way only someone who loves you deeply can listen—with patience, tenderness, and a kind of faith that annoyed me because I didn’t have any left.

"Write a plan, Pamela,” she’d repeat.“God didn’t bring you here to leave you.”

But her encouragement stuck to me like raindrops on a window—visible, but not sinking in.

By mid-summer, I was unraveling. My routines felt like punishment. My dreams felt like lies.

"If nothing changed by the end of 2023, I would return home."

I was psychologically bruised, spiritually dehydrated, exhausted from carrying hope like a weight.

And on that hot July morning, lying in my small Gatineau bedroom, something inside me whispered a dangerous sentence:

“Today, I don’t want to wake up.”

As soon as I thought it, I felt a sudden tug—a presence, a stirring, a voice inside me calling me by my full name. Not the version people use casually. The version that carries lineage, history, and authority.

It was as if someone pressed “light” into my darkness.

"I prayed. I analyzed my life. I admitted I was drowning."

I sat up abruptly. My feet touched the cold floor. The sunlight hit my face. And I began to cry—not soft tears, but the kind that come from the stomach, from the memories, from the little girl who never learned what it meant to feel safe.

I prayed. I analyzed my life. I admitted I was drowning. And right there, whispering through tears, I made a pact with myself:I would give Canada one last chance. One serious chance. If nothing changed by the end of 2023, I would return home.

"I had to stop calling home every day. Stop comparing Canada to my past life."

But here is the truth no one tells you: sometimes you cannot build a new life because you are still emotionally living in your old one. I had to stop calling home every day. Stop comparing Canada to my past life. Stop romanticizing a past that had its own wounds. Stop imagining that returning would fix the ache inside me. I can’t tell you exactly when the calls or complaining stopped but I know I started to act and not drown in inaction and negativity.

THE SPARK OF ENTREPRENEURSHIP

Within my first six months in Canada, I pushed myself to attend a networking event. I dressed up even though my confidence felt too small for my outfit. The room buzzed with accents from around the world—newcomers clutching dreams like passports.

Two men changed the trajectory of my life. A calm East Asian entrepreneur said, “You already did the hardest thing—leaving home. The rest is just steps.”

And an older Caucasian businessman looked at me and said, “Work if you must, but build a business. Employers will never pay you what you’re worth.”

They didn’t know me. They didn’t owe me anything. But their words were seeds that fell into soil that had been crying for rain.  In 2024, I launched a strategic communication consulting and training company for women entrepreneurs and non-profit founders. Today, I've won prizes and competitions.

In 2024, I launched my counselling business

In 2025, I was nominated for an award for young women in Ontario

“Entrepreneurship…saved me emotionally.”

Entrepreneurship kept me moving when life felt completely static. When months went by without a single job response, when my credit card balance was almost maxed out, when silence from employers made me question why I moved — entrepreneurship was the one thing that gave me something to look forward to.

It gave me hope. It gave me excitement on days where nothing made sense. Launching small projects allowed me to apply for programs that funded me here and there — just enough to survive another month. I can’t say I knew exactly what I was doing in the beginning, but creating something, anything, gave me life.

Thanks to that creativity, I discovered possibility again. I began shifting my perspective from “I made the wrong move” to “I’m building something new.”

Entrepreneurship didn’t just save me financially. It saved me emotionally.

Hosting my business signature event in Ottawa, 2025

FAITH BECOMING MY ANCHOR

Like many Christians, I was church-hurt after seeing how people in church used manipulation and judgment, and I struggled to separate colonialism from Christianity, making God’s love hard to understand. But in early 2024, I decided I wanted to know God for myself. I committed to reading the Bible for the year and attending prayer groups, and I remember writing in my prayer journal that I wanted to go deeper because what I knew before was superficial. The journey wasn’t perfect—I stopped reading halfway, avoided prayer groups when they triggered old wounds, and often felt lost—but what saved me was applying the little I knew.

As Christians, we receive the Holy Spirit, and even though I only knew two verses, I believed that if I called on Him for help, He would meet me where I was and lift me higher, and He did. I fasted consistently, filled my environment with worship and teachings, and little by little, I began building confidence. I realized psychological help and faith can work together because my deep anxiety and fears were rooted in unresolved trauma, so I journaled constantly—my fears, my thoughts, my prayers—and turned honestly to God.

Through that, I experienced a peace that no external situation could give, and He even guided me to books outside the Bible that helped me emotionally, because what I needed most was stability, clarity, and emotional regulation. Slowly, I began to feel stronger, more positive, more hopeful, and I came out of the deep disgust I felt for my life, the homesickness, and the confusion, finally beginning to build a new life here. I also started a faith-driven blog, where I share the lessons I’ve learned in my Christian journey to empower others who are still healing and searching for identity. 

FINANCIAL AWAKENING

Another major lesson from immigrating was understanding how quickly money moves in the West—access to credit, loans, and cards that we don’t have back home—and realizing how dangerous it can be without proper financial education. After my first year I realized I had, I saved nothing, so in early 2024, I committed to saving consistently, investing in ETFs and stocks, and learning where my money went. Financial literacy helped me double my savings and understand stability. Many Africans struggle financially abroad because they send everything back home; I don’t recommend that. 

“What helped me succeed was healing my trauma, stepping out of my shell, talking to people, asking questions, taking advice, managing my finances intentionally, journaling honestly through my journey, and refusing to complain.”

My sister and I when we first came to Canada in 2023

Be strategic. Support if you can, but don’t sabotage yourself. And if you’re reading this—whether you’ve immigrated already or hope to—please be encouraged. What helped me succeed was healing my trauma, stepping out of my shell, talking to people, asking questions, taking advice, managing my finances intentionally, journaling honestly through my journey, and refusing to complain. The less you complain and the more you proclaim peace, hope, and purpose over your life, the more things begin to align, and the more you will find meaning not just in where you came from, but in where you’re going.

First speaking engagement a big firm in Ottawa, 2025

“Immigration will expose wounds you never faced, so deal with them gently. Don’t stay isolated…”

FINAL THOUGHTS

If you’re thinking of immigrating, or you’re already here and feeling lost, I want to encourage you from a real place: a lot of things contributed to my progress, but the biggest ones were healing my trauma, coming out of my shell, and taking control of my finances. Immigration will expose wounds you never faced, so deal with them gently.

Don’t stay isolated — start something new, attend events, ask questions, meet people, and receive advice from those outside your immediate circle. Learn how money works in this country because financial literacy will determine your stability. Journal through your journey because writing reveals your growth and keeps you grounded. And above all, complain less and proclaim more — the more you speak peace, purpose, and hope into your own life, the more everything begins to align. Sharing what you learn can also be healing; for me, that became my blog, where I now write honestly about my Christian journey to empower others like me who are rebuilding their faith and identity from scratch.

Pamela Ossongo is an Ottawa-based communications specialist and entrepreneur, born in Cameroon and raised in Tanzania. She is the founder of Irenas & Allies Inc., a bilingual communications and training consultancy that supports nonprofits and entrepreneurs—particularly women-led and BIPOC-led initiatives—through strategic storytelling, branding, and capacity-building workshops. With a background in journalism and media production, Pamela also curates professional development and networking events that empower community leaders to strengthen their voice, visibility, and impact.

LinkedIn: pamela-nga

Instagram: @nga_pamela